Sunday, February 28, 2016
Recovery update #4
Well… umm… I believe I owe everyone an apology for my last post. I had no intention of upsetting anyone or to give the impression that I had lost hope. I have not. I will never lose hope nor will I ever give up. I just had several really bad days in a row and it begins to take its toll on you when it becomes day after day. You’ve all been there before in some respect. Yes… living this way does get old, but I still have a lot of things to do… I have a lot of smiles to offer to another… a lot of hugs to give… a lot of love to share… a lot of hope to pass along to those who are searching.
This site was intended to ‘tell it like it is’ and that is exactly what I did. Sometimes reality bites really hard and I’m not going to make posts on this site that are sugar coated. If I am feeling well or at least better… then that is what it will reflect. If I am feeling like crap then you’re going to get posts like “In a Sealed Envelope”. I certainly didn’t mean to upset anyone or cause anyone tears. If I caused any alarm about my state of mind I am very sorry. The physical does indeed affect the mental… but my mind and my spirit are very much alive and well in this moment. If I could just be a blob of light with mental and spiritual capabilities and retain the ability to type words onto the parchment… I’d shine in more hues than you could imagine.
I slept last night for maybe three hours total… not straight through… mainly because of severe pain in the right chest area and coughing. Since my lung and surrounding tissues are fried like the skin on my back, I suppose it only stands to reason that it is going to hurt. Has anyone ever told you that their pleura hurts? Probably not. Well, mine does.
Most of the information that I have read says that some of the worst side effects can occur three to four weeks after treatment. Well, that’s where I am at this moment. Of course there are many long term side effects that can occur later on that are very serious, but I’m going to ignore their existence at this time. I’m assuming they will not occur.
Yesterday, my taste buds again went on strike. They are refusing to work. I had bacon, eggs and toast for brunch… Sadly I couldn’t taste the bacon at all… How cruel is it to not be able to taste BACON? I couldn’t taste the blackberry jelly on my toast. Oddly I ‘could’ taste the eggs but the taste was umm… a little bland. I even tried a cheeto or twelve later in the day and couldn’t taste them either… but I ate them anyway. They still went well with the beer I’m not supposed to have. The beer tasted a little unusual… but… it was cold and wet and my dry mouth and throat enjoyed it.
This taste bud issue happened during the radiation treatment on my neck and throat with the lymph node and throat cancer. Although I haven’t regained the sense of taste fully, I had recovered some of the sensation and could taste some things I liked, although the taste was milder than they once were. You don’t exactly look forward to meals when you can’t taste anything. Maybe now is when I should try things that I never liked before… like asparagus… maybe I’d like them now. (Wish I had taken a picture of the face I just made, thinking of asparagus… and shared it with you… it surely would have brought on a few LOL’s) Some things taste like cardboard and some things just taste bitter and awful that I ‘used’ to like. Weird. I don’t know why I am experiencing this lack of taste at this point, but I do hope it reappears soon.
It’s still February and the spring beauties are popping up all over the yard. I love them. My front yard often is filled with them and I can just get lost in their beauty. I like to take pics of them up close to reveal their intricate detail and their beautiful and radiant hues.
I don’t think I have ever heard anyone say that their favorite flower was a spring beauty… but it is way up on the list for me. They have to be enjoyed in their own natural bouquets… but oh… are they ever beautiful there.
I think you can tell that Mugs enjoys the spring flowers of all kinds… He thinks they make him look pretty… I think they do too…
Hope is not lost in the brume or the pain
Nor drowned neath the surface in cold pouring rain
Look for the wisdom in the wind ere it blows
While tulips are borne neath cold winter snow
Sippin’ on coffee and smooth Irish Cream
Drifting through crystal in search of a dream
The Spring Beauties reaching for dawn’s early hues
While the song of the sparrow enlightens the muse
‘Hope’ your weekend is filled with beautiful moments…