Reaching for Dawn

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Recovery update #4

Well… umm… I believe I owe everyone an apology for my last post.  I had no intention of upsetting anyone or to give the impression that I had lost hope.  I have not.  I will never lose hope nor will I ever give up.  I just had several really bad days in a row and it begins to take its toll on you when it becomes day after day.  You’ve all been there before in some respect.  Yes… living this way does get old, but I still have a lot of things to do… I have a lot of smiles to offer to another… a lot of hugs to give… a lot of love to share… a lot of hope to pass along to those who are searching.

This site was intended to ‘tell it like it is’ and that is exactly what I did.  Sometimes reality bites really hard and I’m not going to make posts on this site that are sugar coated.  If I am feeling well or at least better… then that is what it will reflect.  If I am feeling like crap then you’re going to get posts like “In a Sealed Envelope”.  I certainly didn’t mean to upset anyone or cause anyone tears.  If I caused any alarm about my state of mind I am very sorry.  The physical does indeed affect the mental… but my mind and my spirit are very much alive and well in this moment.  If I could just be a blob of light with mental and spiritual capabilities and retain the ability to type words onto the parchment… I’d shine in more hues than you could imagine.

I slept last night for maybe three hours total… not straight through… mainly because of severe pain in the right chest area and coughing.  Since my lung and surrounding tissues are fried like the skin on my back, I suppose it only stands to reason that it is going to hurt.  Has anyone ever told you that their pleura hurts?  Probably not.  Well, mine does.

Most of the information that I have read says that some of the worst side effects can occur three to four weeks after treatment.  Well, that’s where I am at this moment.  Of course there are many long term side effects that can occur later on that are very serious, but I’m going to ignore their existence at this time.  I’m assuming they will not occur.

Yesterday, my taste buds again went on strike.  They are refusing to work.  I had bacon, eggs and toast for brunch… Sadly I couldn’t taste the bacon at all… How cruel is it to not be able to taste BACON?  I couldn’t taste the blackberry jelly on my toast.  Oddly I ‘could’ taste the eggs but the taste was umm… a little bland.  I even tried a cheeto or twelve later in the day and couldn’t taste them either… but I ate them anyway.  They still went well with the beer I’m not supposed to have.  The beer tasted a little unusual… but… it was cold and wet and my dry mouth and throat enjoyed it.

This taste bud issue happened during the radiation treatment on my neck and throat with the lymph node and throat cancer.  Although I haven’t regained the sense of taste fully, I had recovered some of the sensation and could taste some things I liked, although the taste was milder than they once were.  You don’t exactly look forward to meals when you can’t taste anything.  Maybe now is when I should try things that I never liked before… like asparagus… maybe I’d like them now.  (Wish I had taken a picture of the face I just made, thinking of asparagus… and shared it with you… it surely would have brought on a few LOL’s)  Some things taste like cardboard and some things just taste bitter and awful that I ‘used’ to like.  Weird.  I don’t know why I am experiencing this lack of taste at this point, but I do hope it reappears soon.

It’s still February and the spring beauties are popping up all over the yard.  I love them.  My front yard often is filled with them and I can just get lost in their beauty.  I like to take pics of them up close to reveal their intricate detail and their beautiful and radiant hues.

Spring Beauty 3

I don’t think I have ever heard anyone say that their favorite flower was a spring beauty… but it is way up on the list for me.  They have to be enjoyed in their own natural bouquets… but oh… are they ever beautiful there.

Mugs2

I think you can tell that Mugs enjoys the spring flowers of all kinds… He thinks they make him look pretty… I think they do too…

Hope is not lost in the brume or the pain
Nor drowned neath the surface in cold pouring rain
Look for the wisdom in the wind ere it blows
While tulips are borne neath cold winter snow

Sippin’ on coffee and smooth Irish Cream
Drifting through crystal in search of a dream
The Spring Beauties reaching for dawn’s early hues
While the song of the sparrow enlightens the muse

‘Hope’ your weekend is filled with beautiful moments…

Namasté

Michael33

In a Sealed Envelope

Sunday, February 21, 2016

Recovery Update #3

What is there to tell?

The last few days have been like a giant water slide… a steep slope downward with many twists and turns until finally… splashing into the depths of a cold reality.  I suppose that doesn’t make the reader want to wander further into this post.  Perhaps just knowing that is enough to draw your own conclusions and wander off to something more positive.  Sometimes realism isn’t pretty.  It doesn’t always show up in beautiful hues of indigo.  All too often it arrives in ecru.  I love that word.  It’s difficult to think of something pretty described as ‘ecru’.  It’s not particularly a pretty word.  Although I have seen shades of colors described as “ecru” that are quite pretty.  The word actually comes from the French word écru… which is defined as ‘… raw, unbleached…’ that’s what this site is supposed to be… raw and unbleached… so I will continue.

It seems as though my physical well-being is sliding downward lately… so is my imagination… my inspiration… my ability to write the simplest of poetry or prose.  My sense of humor teeters on the edge of the abyss, boiling with chaotic exploitations of all things un-funny.  I think this is the point where many find peace in their silent capitulation.   What’s the point?  Just throw in the towel… I’m coughing… my lungs hurt… my scalded skin hurts… my head hurts… my lymphedema in both sides of the neck is flaring… I can’t get enough air… and I’m just plain tired.  Even if the latest treatments have diminished the cancer… in twelve to eighteen months it will return… and in how many places this time?  I think my already compromised immune system is just overwhelmed.  When you finally arrive at a point of recovery from the treatments, where you can enjoy at least a few things in life… it’s back…  bigger… and in more serious places than before… while still lingering… quietly smirking, where it was first found… wandering its way through your lymph system to the next and the next and the next… and where… where is that damned primary source lurking that cannot be found?

On top of all that… I am now treating numerous skin cancers, squamous cell and basil cell and some other kind of cell… carcinomas with chemo cream.  Were they created by the first round of radiation?  Were they always there and are just now appearing?  Was this round of radiation… added to the first round… too much for my system to tolerate?  My opinion is this… I have had a few of these before, although there are more of them now and in new places… and I think they could very likely be the original source… No one in the medical profession has put that together… but we patients aren’t stupid either.  If the squamous cells permeate into the blood stream or the lymph fluid… it is quite likely that they could wander anywhere, perhaps causing the lump in the lymph nodes of the neck and in the throat in my first bout with this crap.  There is no evidence of what type is in the lung… but my guess would be that it wandered there as well… possibly from the neck.  I’m just speculating here… but reasonable speculation often leads to truths of the universe yet undiscovered.  The medical profession has ‘speculated’ that the primary source originated in the tonsils.  Of course the tonsils can’t be removed in my case because there is a lot of blood loss in tonsillectomies and we are all aware of the heart situation with me.  My sinuses often bleed… perhaps it is lurking there… It brings us to the point of what is right and what is wrong and what difference does it make…  Under the circumstances… I would say that it makes no difference at all.  I think I should use the phrase ‘it is what it is’ at this point.  I think I’ll just quote a great American icon and say… “I am what I am and that’s all that I am…”.  Okay… I’m sorry… I think that is actually the ‘second’ time that I have quoted ‘Popeye’… I am ashamed… Popeye?… Really?… (see… I knew that somehow… amongst all the glume… I could bring a smile to your face…)

So… where am I?  What is my mental state in this moment?  Here’s a poem I wrote today in this frame of mind…

The colors don’t blend
When the willow can’t bend
While bluebells are bowing their heads
The words cannot rhyme
With it all out of time
When blood has already been shed
 
The ‘vision of hope’
In a sealed envelope
Where fate hides its face neath the fold
In destiny’s light
Of what’s wrong and what’s right
Left standing outside in the cold

I know that there are many of you out there that can closely relate to these words.  You’re tired… you’re weary… you hurt… you’re frustrated by your physical or mental limitations… you wonder how you will take care of just the necessary things that must be done when you feel as though you cannot take another step………… you wonder what tomorrow will bring.

So where do we turn?  Can we walk around the corner of reality and step into another world where there is no pain… no illness… no abuse… no depression… a place where we don’t have to watch someone we love suffer?  Everyone suffers in some way… it is just part of our humanness.  Some of us cry… some of us yell and scream… some of us write blogs… some of us suffer in the silence… in the darkness… in our rooms… but all of us… every single one of us has…. is… or will suffer in some way.  It may be suffering for another… it may be suffering because of abuse or circumstances that we are unable to change in the moment… it may be suffering because we cannot find that faint light that always burns for us somewhere in that darkness… But if we can all light our little candles… and offer that light to another… through a smile… a hug… a kiss… a caring word… a tiny wildflower that says “I love you”… then maybe… just maybe… someone will see that light… even faintly… and know that they still have purpose beyond their suffering… and then… in their own way…  they will share that light… no matter how faintly it shines… with another.  Have you ever seen the beautiful glow of a thousand tiny candles?

Hope… if we can give another who is wandering in the darkness… a vision of hope… what have we done?  We have shared the most beautiful of all the traits of our humanness with another… Love.

Perhaps that is our purpose in life… in our humanness… on this earth… sharing love with another…

Just perhaps……….

Now you all know that I’m not going to leave you today without at least a pic to make you smile.  Earlier today, Mugs and I were looking through some of his kittenhood pictures and he wanted me to share this one with you…

Mugs

Here is a pic of Mugs in his early adulthood lounging in the ‘cat’ house.  If you look closely… you can see his sister Onyx behind him.

Mugs and Onyx

Mugs and I send hugs to you all…

Namasté

Have a beautiful Sunday…

Michael33

A Voice of Compassion

Recovery Update #2

Saturday, February 13, 2016

I hope that all of you are already enjoying or about to begin enjoying a beautiful weekend filled with love, smiles and laughter.  Perhaps I should leave this post with that comment instead of bringing you up to date on my recovery.  But, then… that would not fulfill my ‘vision of hope’ that this site is intended to bring.  So I’m going to whine… complain… gripe… whimper… perhaps even snivel a bit… I would even throw in some mewling… but that bothers the kitties and they gather on the coffee table and stare at me with that special kitty look that says… “Really?… Mewling?  You’re seriously going to mewl right in front of us?”  So, I suppose I’ll just stop at sniveling…

The shortness of breath is the most serious of the side effects at this point and I actually can’t say for sure that all of it is due to the radiation and/or scarring of the lung.  Some of it may very well be the result of the heart.  Lately… I’ve had difficulty stringing three normal heart beats in a row without an additional or skipped beat.  I’ve experienced additional chest pain that could also go either way.  I know that radiation to the chest area can affect the pericardial sac that surrounds the heart and cause inflammation of the lining that could be causing some of the pain and additional arrhythmias… but I am no stranger to heart malfunctions… so who really knows?

I will now yammer a bit about something related to this though… My right ear is somehow messed up.  I hear ‘white noise’ continuously and loudly.  Often it morphs into screeching sounds… squeals and whistles that are extremely annoying.  Kind of like my mewling… But as a result of all this amazing full spectrum of frequencies that play in my head 24 hours a day… I have the perfect perception of my heartbeat… constantly… It’s like listening to the ultrasound of your heart on a speaker… Amplified… I hear every beat… every skipped beat… every additional beat… when the Atrial fibrillation kicks in, it sounds like the flapping wings of a microbat against my tympanic membrane… sometimes… it’s enough to make one want to pule… I suppose… only someone who appreciates poetry could use the words mewl and pule in the same post.  Oh… and the burned skin is still ridiculously sore.  I suppose it will be that way awhile longer.  In addition to the burn… muscle spasms have started in that same area.  I haven’t read anything about radiation side effects causing muscle spasms so I really don’t know what’s going on with that… Perhaps the muscles that were in the line of fire are just mewling…

Okay… so the heart disease, the cancer and the radiation therapy has kicked me down a bit physically in this moment… So what if I can’t walk more than a block without resting at least briefly…  So what if when I stoop down to pet a kitty… or to clean up something I’ve dropped in the floor… that I have to find a cabinet or a table or a chair or something to use my arms to lift up what my weakened legs will not.  So what?  The real thing to focus on for me is that I ‘can’ walk that block… I ‘can’ pull myself up from the floor… I ‘can’ still clean up my own messes I’ve made… I ‘can’ still pet the kitties and make them purr… which in turn… brightens their day and mine.

Maybe I’m just expressing my un-normal self by saying that I do truly find a great deal of enjoyment in the simpler things in life.  I probably can’t out run you… Most likely I couldn’t win a tennis match or push my car out of a snow bank.  But I ‘can’ enjoy the beauty that surrounds me in every single moment of time… wherever I am… with whatever I’m doing… or even in whatever I’m ‘not’ doing.  I ‘can’ enjoy every word that I find in the comments section of this blog… of my poetry blog… of your blogs.

I know that there are so many of you who have found solace in writing… in reading what others have written… in lingering in the comments of so many compassionate and caring human beings.  There have been those times in our lives when we felt as though there was no one who cared… no one to turn to that could even come close to having the slightest understanding of how we felt in that moment.  Today… I cannot say that.  Do I know exactly how you feel?  No.  Do you know exactly how I feel?  No.  But what we do know is this… we can share our life experiences with one another so that no one feels alone when they are hurting… physically or emotionally… when they are sick… in sadness… or lost within the darkness.  We all have that light within us that can be shared with another… and I thank you all for sharing yours with me.

A Voice of Compassion

 When ere your footprints deepened in the sand
The tide erased the pain with grains of time
Yet now the shadows borne across your hands
Have written only verses out of rhyme
 
I cannot place my soul inside your shoes
But I have walked that mile within your sorrow
I cannot lace the tithes that bind the muse
But I will still be near to you tomorrow

The picture below is of a precious little friend of mine.  Of course… our relationship was much enhanced by her daily saucer of pecans… It was difficult to capture a picture of her while holding the plate in my hand… but I can assure you, that she and I both smiled while she enjoyed her breakfast.  See… I really do have friends that aren’t kitties…

the squirrel

Thank you for dropping by…

Enjoy your weekend and be sure to offer your smile, your kindness, or your helping hand to another…

Wishing you a beautiful Valentine’s Day tomorrow

Namasté

Michael33

Recovery Update #1

Recovery update #1…

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Good morning everyone.  Thanks for dropping by to check out the update.

Most of the symptoms have not changed.  The shortness of breath has actually worsened somewhat.  I don’t know if it is due to the beginning of the scaring or something else going on, but as long as I can function I’ll not be seeking any addition medical treatment.  It’s a little like I’m living at an altitude of 14,000 feet… Thin air.  It certainly adds to the fatigue factor.  Deep breathing helps a little, but it is difficult to continue deep breathing all day and night.  My chest hurts from time to time but I’m not sure whether it is lung or heart related.

The burned area on my back has not improved as yet.  It actually seemed to worsen for the first few days after treatments ceased and now it is turning black in some areas and the deep burned areas are cracking open.  I guess that’s just what badly burned skin does at some point.  I’m still alternating the special cream for radiation burn with Aloe Vera gel.  The cream seems to add moisture… I use it in the evening… while the Aloe gel sooths the pain… I use it in the morning.  Only the cream was recommended with the suggestion that I would probably need a prescription because the burn was so bad.  I have refrained from the prescription… I’m tired of prescriptions for this and prescriptions for that.  The cream and gel are keeping my screams low enough that the neighbors can’t hear me and I don’t scare the kitties…  It might work a little slower… I can’t know that for sure… but I’m sticking with it for now.

Last night I began having chills around 12:15 am… They came and went for about an hour and a half.  I finally feel asleep around 1:45 and woke at 2:07.  Short night.  I was awake then until about 4:20.  I got up at 5… I’m tired… I’m sleepy.  I have things to do… so I’ll not sleep until after lunch when I get comfy in my chair and pass out.  Hopefully.

I want to thank all of you who have followed me through my whining.  It’s not easy reading about someone else’s suffering… especially for the ones who are so compassionate… and as it has turned out… all of the followers of this site seem to be exactly that… the compassionate ones.

So… I thought that with this first recovery update post, instead of just posting the crappy way I feel… I would include a few pics that I think will make you smile.  These are a few of the wanderers who have crossed my path over recent years.  Most of them came here sick… injured… with major malnutrition… abandoned… with many of them suffering from abuse… sadly from unenlightened human beings.  Don’t worry though… these pics are only “after” their improved health and their new experience of knowing that they are loved.

Simon and Garfunkel 3

Garfunkel 2

Simon 2

Taxi 3

The picture below is of my “doppelganger”

The Poet 2

Hope these brought a smile to your face…

Be sure to hug those you care about and who care about you…

Be sure to hug your pets…

If you want to really have fun… hug a stranger…

Namasté

Michael33

 

 

 

I’m Done

I'm done 1

Treatment #20 (the

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Part 1

Good evening everyone.  It’s Tuesday… the best day of the week.  For those of you who also visit my poetry site… You might see that I stole the “I’m Done” theme from myself.  But it is so fitting for this post.  I’m done with radiation treatments for the moment and the skin on my back is definitely “well done”… although it appears to be quite on the raw side.  I was going to include a picture of my back so that you could see just what radiation does to your skin and of course your insides… I have only been able to view it through weird angles of the mirrors with limited vision… but after viewing as others would see it… I decided not to ruin your visual experience on this blog.  I’m having a bit of a problem getting it out of my own mind.  I’ll just say… that among the deep burgundy shade of red are more blisters than you can count.  It’s not pretty.  I am certain that the parts inside are just as blistered… It’s a little frightening.  BUT… I have completed the 20 treatment sessions that were scheduled to rid me of lung cancer.  Done.  The healing begins.

I was given these beautiful flowers by the radiation technicians after the treatment ended.

The Gift

I will enjoy their fragrance and contrasting hues of brilliance for the next few days… maybe.  My cats like to stop and smell the roses… or any other flowers.  The problem with this is that while they are enjoying the wonderful aroma… they also like to eat them.  So I will have to enjoy them in an area that is safe from the ‘creatures’…  Those are very limited spaces.

The techs were great during the whole treatment process.  They were always friendly… always had a kind word to offer… They had to endure the many questions that Mr. Wants to Know it All had to ask.  They answered every one of them.  I am as grateful for their kindness and compassion as I am their professionalism.

The ladies at the desk always had a smile, if they weren’t deeply involved in a phone conversation with another patient… and often found the time and seized the moment to harass a shy old man.   The entire staff was truly always very friendly.  I’ve already commented on my feelings toward the doctor and I could not have possibly found one more suited for me.  I was treated superbly in all aspects of the meaning of the word ‘treated’…  I must admit that I haven’t come across too many compassionate physicians in my lifetime… but she has shined her light into that catagory… along with my friend “Puppydoc”.

Part 2

It is now Wednesday morning following a sleepless night.  Around 10 pm I began having chest pains.  They were somewhat unusual of my normal heart pain but were generally located in the same region of the chest.  I put on a nitro patch to see if that would help.  I took an antacid to see if that would help.  Nothing helped.  It was a stabbing pain… in the center of my chest… it would stab, then stop, with the stab lasting only a few seconds but severe enough to make me pay attention and to know that if it lasted any longer than a few seconds that I was going to be in trouble of some sort.  This continued for about an hour and a half.  It finally ceased, but I still couldn’t sleep.  Anything against the burn on my back was painful.  Difficult to find a comfortable position when you can’t sleep on your left side because your heart messes up continually… you can’t sleep on your stomach for the same reason plus it causes pain on the ulcer or whatever it is… and you can’t lay on your back because of the burn.  My legs were in great desire of perpetual motion… so they kicked… they wiggled… they waved to the wall… I think at one point my feet were practicing sign language.  So… in conclusion… I slept from approximately 2:45 am till 4:00.  That’s not exactly what I needed for my exhaustion but so very typical of what happens to our body when we are indeed ‘exhausted’.

Here’s the odd part.  This morning I’m actually not feeling too badly.  I am short of breath… I am extremely fatigued… and the chest pain continues occasionally… but I was able to get out of the bed… take care of my wonderful creatures… shower… and pour my first cup of coffee… all before six o’clock in the morning.  That leaves some of the most beautiful time of the day… in the pre-dawn hours of the morning… to just enjoy being.  Do you ever sit in the quietude… in the stillness of the early morn… and just enjoy being?  You should.  It’s so very wonderful for the mind… for the soul.  We all have so very much to be grateful for… no matter our struggle… no matter our illness… no matter what stress others have placed upon us… we should all be so very grateful for our being.

Sometimes we look far past all the beauty that surrounds us.  Sometimes the fog in our mind can block out the magnificence of our being.  Yet… if we look close enough… even directly into the fog… we can find beautiful reflections in each and every droplet of moisture that so magnificently come together to create the wonder of the brume … We can find hues of color that we have never before noticed… lingering softly within each droplet… We can see the street lights reflecting like the glow of a candle… passing through one drop to another… diffusing our understanding… yet still giving us light within our darkness.

It is like those of you who have so graciously shined your light within my fog… sharing your hope… your inspiration… your enlightenment with a stranger… whom you know only in the world of black and white.  Yet that hope reflects within one single droplet… and shines upon another… until the world is so beautifully lit with love and the vision of hope.

I am so deeply grateful to all of you who have brought me smiles… hugs… compassion… caring… inspiration… strength… and friendship… and I thank you.

The treatments are “done” for now… but my blogging on this site is still very young and will continue.  We have a lot of healing to go through and some of it, I’m sure, might not be too pretty… but I’m going to continue to share it with you and I hope that you continue to share with me.  I have heard from many who have and are suffering so greatly, for many different reasons and it is so very beautiful to find you still willing to share your compassion with another.  Your light is shining brightly and there are many who will find your light in their darkness and be drawn to your love and kindness.  That is truly… why we are all here.

Now… I must go join Bennie in his tree for a while… for he has waited so patiently for me and he even found me the perfect natural hammock of limbs to rest my weariness.  I did receive an invitation to join Grayson and his uncle Walter… lounging on the trash bin…

Grayson and Walter 1

But I think there might not be enough room for this human to join them.  So I’m off to climb the tree and rest a while with Grayson’s brother Bennie… From the look on his face… perhaps his patience is wearing a bit…

Bennie 2

Although the weather is in the 30’s with winds around 20mph… I might not be as good at hanging onto the limbs as Bennie… so, after a bit of ‘hanging’ around together and some interesting kitty conversation… I’ll probably find my way to my warm chair.  Then I will relax and read all the wonderful and enlightening comments that are awaiting my discovery.

It may be a couple of days before I return to posting, unless something arises that I think might interest you or if I should have an epiphany of profound significance… (you better not be laughing… I have had an epiphany before… sort of… well… maybe once)

Until then… I hope you will all find your way to my poetry site…

The Vision of Poets 

I wish you all a wonderful day… filled with many beautiful moments.

Namasté

Michael33

Treatment #19

Monday, February 1, 2016

What a Monday… I’m definitely feeling the burn.  I didn’t want to go today, but I want to get through with these treatments… so I went anyway.  My back is so sore with radiation burn that it is difficult to even describe.  After the treatment, I saw the doctor.  She looked at my back and didn’t like what she saw.  I asked about the very dark red spots that were appearing in the burned area and this is what she told me.  The radiation beam is not a solid beam but is broken into several smaller beams.  Those deep red spots within the otherwise very burned area, were extra deep burns in the skin where the beams were actually penetrating the skin.  She said that I needed to use a special gel on it, which she gave me some in a small cup and told me to use it at least three times a day.  She also said that it was really bad and that I would probably need some sort of a prescription for it that she will talk to me about tomorrow.  Yippee… I’m excited.  Yes… and I’m sarcastic.

She said that tomorrow would be my last treatment for a while, until we can test and analyze the results.  I asked why we had to wait eight weeks for another PET scan and here is the answer.  When the treatments stop… the macrophages (macrophage actually means… big eaters.  I guess I used to be one of those… they are actually large white blood cells that engulf and digest cellular debris, foreign substances, microbes, cancer cells, and anything else that does not have the types of proteins specific to the surface of healthy body cells in a process called phagocytosis)… the macrophages ingest the burned and destroyed cancer cells and eats them so that they can no longer cause harm to the body and removes them from the infected area.

Now… if we can just develop those little critters to eat ‘live’ cancer cells before they get to a point to cause us harm…

Also during this time period, the non-cancer cells that have been damaged from the radiation are busy repairing and rejuvenating themselves.  Because of this… their activity and reproduction is greatly increased.  When a PET scan is performed, you are injected with a radio isotope that is picked up in the greatest amount by the cells that are dividing the fastest… which is normally the cancerous cells.  But during this repair time… it would also be picked up in large amounts by the healthy cells that are rapidly trying to reproduce themselves… Therefore it would be very difficult to determine which areas were cancerous and which were not.

I know that is probably a little more information than most of you want to know, but I found it most interesting… Mr. Wants to Know it All… is now informed.  The doctor was also surprised that I was well informed on macrophages… but I was a biology major and macrophages were well known even back in the dark ages when I attended college.

I was also told that I would have a lot of scarring on my lung… I’m hoping for very little because I have enough trouble breathing now.  So I’m just going to put some positive thoughts in my anti-scarring machine and not allow it to be bad enough to cause much of a problem.

I need rest.  Lots of it.  All I have to do tomorrow is face the final treatment…. #20… and get burned a little deeper.

Bennie… Grayson’s brother… has already picked his spot for our resting period.  I may join him in his tree…

Bennie

Since it is now a late evening hour here… I will wait until the morning to post this.

Saturday morning…

Good morning everyone.  Hope you slept well and enjoyed some wonderful dreams.

I’m off to the “LAST” treatment in a few minutes.  I’m anxious to return home and climb up in the tree with Bennie to rest… Did I hear someone say that old men shouldn’t climb trees?

Namasté

Michael33