April 2017 Update

Buzzard 6

Okay… so I haven’t been feeling well at all as of late.  But when you walk outside your door and find a vulture perched on the top of the street light, right outside your house… flaunting his enormous wings… well… it might make one think that there is that possibility that he/she is more ill than anyone had assumed. 

At first, even the kitties were frozen in the front yard.  But after a few minutes of staring at what looked more like a pterodactyl on a light pole… they began creeping slowly toward the giant flying ogre.  The fur along their spines standing straight up… their tails fuzzed out to the size of their whole bodies… their huge eyes locked on something they had never before seen.  Then… it happened… the alien being with wings swooped down to the center of the street… appearing at least three times the size of the biggest kitty (Bennie)… now creeping ever so slowly… in complete silence… toward the humongous beast.  Another kitty joined him… a tiny female (Petals)… moving so low to the ground that there was no space between the grass and her body… then another joined (Gracie)… All three closing in from different directions… attempting to surround this Beelzebub that had dropped into their territory most assuredly… uninvited. 

I called to them… their ears flipped back in the direction of my voice… then quickly returned upright toward the predator…  but not one of them moved a single muscle… eyes entranced upon the beast of prey.  I called them each by name… but I was ignored completely.  I raised my voice a bit and reminded them of what I have always taught them to consider… ‘before’ doing not smart kitty things… like investigating unknown creatures…  I asked them… Have you guys forgotten about that old saying… “Curiosity killed the cat?”  They continued their approach in complete disregard.  I believe I heard one them make a shhh sound and quietly whisper… Be quiet dad… this is a kitty thing and there’s just nothing you can do to stop it.

I heard a car coming down the street from east to west.  The vulture remaining in the middle of the road, displaying his complete arrogance and total lack of fear of the three fur balls… now only a few feet away.  I was certain that the passing car would cause him to fly away… but… NO… he stood his ground… the driver slowing the car to nearly a stop… then inching along the curb to avoid confronting the monstrous, flesh eating beast from the sky. 

The kitties kept inching closer and closer… now being joined by a fourth (Ollie), slithering in from the left flank.  I could no longer bear the possible consequences of what might happen… either way the confrontation turned out… it would make me sad.  I hollered… clapping my hands… the mountainous barbarian flew up into the top of the nearest tree. 

All four kitties instantly turned their heads in my direction… staring at me with big bright eyes… and being the cat whisperer that I am… I realized that they were all saying… in four part kitty harmony…  Really Dad?  You had to go and spoil the most fun we’ve had since the time we caught the family of skunks eating out of our cat food bowl?…………………….. Really Dad?………………..

They made me feel terrible… I spoiled their fun… curbed their curiosity… while… perhaps… saving them from harm… or perhaps… saving the ogre with wings.  As for me…?  Well… I just wanted to pet the unusual creature.  That’s just my nature.  I can’t help it.  I wanted to hold it in my arms and pet its odd looking head.  Maybe next time…

As you can see from the picture below… Hunting wild creatures can be quite exhausting…

After the hunt 3

And of course… Just in cast that pesty pterodactyl attempted a return to steal cat food or to wash it’s enormous beak… Gracie was standing guard in the bird bath.

Gracie's Tree

I have an appointment with my cancer doctor next week, so there may very well be another update very soon… but for now… I’ll share this.

The April update on my sorry health… 

I’m tired.  I’m just plain… tired.  I know what you’re saying to yourself… where is that Michael33 positive attitude… and of course… the ‘hope’…  What I have learned over the past few weeks and months is something that I really never understood… Why people with serious illnesses just give up the fight to survive.   Serious illnesses… over the long term…. can indeed cause one to just want to give up.  I am beginning to understand those that I have known that reached a point in their lives… with illness… dealing with chemo… with radiation… with pill after pill of medication… with all the negative effects that go along with every one of them… with one problem after another…  that just gave up the hope… gave up the will to keep going.  It does get very, very difficult to keep fighting.  There are those many moments where you just want to throw in the towel and say… “ENOUGH”!!!  I’m too tired to go another inch… to take another step… to get out of bed… still faced with all that “has” to be done.  Too tired to sleep.  Too much pain to rise from the bed and face the day… often… so sick that you don’t think that you will be able to take care of yourself, much less another… or… the kitties………

Yet… so far… I seem to always find a way to feed them… to care for them… to brush them… to love them… even when I don’t think I’m going to be able to get out of bed and make it to the coffee pot.  Usually the kitties make sure that I get out of bed.  Usually… very early in the morning, they begin walking on top of me… they put their noses against mine.  If that doesn’t work… they begin knocking things off of the bedside table or start digging the covers off of me until I finally realize that their persistence is not going to cease.  They depend on me to feed them… to take care of them… to love them.  I depend on them… to love me… and to give me a reason to get my lazy, tired ass out of bed every morning.

Love has most often come easy for me.  Namasté is a term I use often with great emotion from my heart and soul.  If you are unfamiliar with what it ‘truly’ means… please explore its meaning.  We don’t always have to love another for the things they do… We can truly despise what they do… yet still loving them for the light within each of them… for we are… truly… all one within this universe… and contrary to what some may believe… that very much includes all the innocent beautiful animals that live amongst us.  “We”… are all creatures of the universe and should be respected for that most beautiful reason alone.  The animals love us unconditionally… why can we not do that with one another?

I have always loved the animals… all of them.  That certainly has never been a problem for me in any form or fashion.  The kitties I now have around me are here for more reasons than just that I like kitties.  They have adopted me for one reason or another.  They have come in search of food… in need of care from abandonment…(by humans)… from abuse… (by humans)… from injury… (much of which was intentional… umm… by humans)… or from illness.  I have taken them in to care for them because my soul could not survive if I were to turn my back on them.  As a result… I have benefited in so many beautiful ways from the experience… They have endlessly expressed their love and gratitude to me throughout our shared existence.  Take a homeless animal in and care for it… provide medical care to one who is injured… feed one who is hungry… share your love with them as if they were a part of you… one with you… because that is exactly what they are.  Now… if we can just persuade human beings to treat other human beings and creatures of our universe in the same manner… perhaps we could actually have peace in the world.  Namasté!       

Don’t worry… I haven’t given up… and will never give in to these disgusting illnesses… not the heart disease… nor the cancer… nor the pneumonia… nor the collapsed lung… nor the fluid that squeezes my lungs so tightly that I cannot take a deep breath nor even laugh without choking… not the degenerative disc disease… not the fracture of the lower fibula of my right leg that often causes me to walk like a three toed sloth with a limp like Chester from “Gunsmoke”. 

Getting old has not been a particularly easy experience.  It has been painful and I won’t go into it at this moment… but serious illness ‘does’ create so many emotions within oneself… mostly due to what it does to those around you… who love you. Where are those damned ‘Golden Years’ I’ve always heard about?  I see oldies on TV traveling all over the world… playing games like they were thirty something… taking Viagra and sitting in bath tubs at the beach… Okay… that never really made much since to me… If they’re so healthy and able… why are they in ‘separate’ tubs… and why would they need Viagra?…. and… I’d be willing to bet that both of them needed help getting out of those deep tubs… otherwise… they’d probably be in a different commercial… crying… “Help!  I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

As you can see… there is one thing that I “have” been able to hang on to… my sense of humor… Perhaps my ‘humor’ is not golden… perhaps it is often in shades of gray… but it is there… and in the laughter and the love… I have found the reason… the reason to never give up the “Vision of Hope.” 

Thanks to all of you who have dropped by… who have taken the time to click the “like” button… and a very special thank you to those who have so compassionately left me with their comments of encouragement, their insight… shared their hugs, their light, their healing… with a stranger whom they have never met…  To all of you… my sincerest and most humble gratitude!

Gracie Namaste


5 thoughts on “April 2017 Update

  1. Dear Michael, I have such mixed feelings when reading your post. I admire the fact that you have retained your sense of humour despite all the challenges to your health. I’m inclined to think I would struggle to cope with even one of your serious health difficulties. Having said that, I think we can surprise ourselves with courage and strength we don’t know we have until we are put to the test. When I read about your kitties and the role they play in your life and you in theirs, therein lies your source of strength and your lesson for all of us – that compassion and love can make all the difference . Peace be with you dear Michael.


  2. Dear Michael,
    I had not seen this when you posted it.. So sorry your illness is taking this turn, and I can fully understand how you are feeling..
    I loved your story with your cats.. You know Michael, my Dad had lung cancer.. Too late he went to the Drs.. And from beginning to the end of him knowing he was ill with it, He had only 3 months with us..
    I am telling you this, as he and his Cat were bonded like no other.. While he was in hospital We would travel the 70 miles to feed her, taking it in turns with my other sister, who was six months healing from her own Cancer treatment of breast cancer.. A mastectomy and chemo .
    We would take a shirt to the hospital on Dad’s instructions, where he would wear it and then we would take it back to his Cat.. He said he didn’t want her to feel lonely as she slept beside him every night from being a young kitten.. And she must have been about 10 yrs old then. She was a proper Tabby Wild Cat, he had found as a kitten while out walking in the countryside .. She had all the proper markings of a wild tabby cat in the uk .. If you look up Scottish Wild Cats you will see the type of markings..
    When the time came, Dad wanted to come home, So we my sister and I got everything ready.. coupled up with a hospital bed oxygen and meds..
    Now while my sister and I had been feeding the cat and emptying litter trays we had not see it, for it hid upstairs under the bed.. And would not come out.. Even when Dad was well and we would visit, it was so shy of people and only trusted Dad.. So we hardly got to see it..
    On the day he arrived home, Dad insisted on walking from the ambulance, and the moment the ambulance turned up, We heard the cat Calling to Dad.. Long Meow’s were wailed out and and my sister and I took ourselves off into the kitchen after opening the front door..
    The reunion was something to behold, which had both my sister and I in floods of tears, as Cat and Dad were reunited.. long meows as she head butted him in her delight to see him again after one months absence..Was something to witness..
    So I fully understand your relationship Michael with your kitties, and loved the story of the bird of pray and how you spoiled their fun.. 🙂
    Sending you special thoughts my friend
    And I loved ALL of your pictures of your Cats.. just beautiful..
    Love and Blessings.. and Hope you did not mind that story..
    Love Sue ❤ ❤


    • I don’t mean to be nosy, Sue Dreamwalker, but as I scrolled down the page to leave a comment, I noticed the word “cat” & couldn’t resist reading your comment. (I grew up with cats, but for various reasons have not been able to own one for over 20 years. I greatly miss having kitties of my own!) Anyway, I just wanted to say what a beautiful story that is about your Dad and his cat! Animals can brighten our lives in so many ways. Thanks for sharing your story, and have a great day!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you Merry Hearts, Cats are indeed beautiful companions, even though they are very independent. I think they choose to stay with us, rather than we keep them. 🙂 And I had to come back to Michael’s post to see what I had written. 🙂 And were were no way noisy..
        Have a wonderful rest of the week.. Take care.
        Sue 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Michael. Thank you for sharing your update, and wonderful Feline story (Gracie in the bird bath … priceless). As a fellow Feline triber and Feline-Blessed, I’m glad to know that you’re surrounded by these amazing compadres. You’ll be in my thoughts and mojo-prayers (every little bit helps, as I’ve discovered!). Blessings to you and your Feline guardians.


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