The above pic is of the flowers presented to me from the radiation clinic to celebrate the completion of this therapy session… and its healing. As you can see… Sophie is definitely taking the time to smell the flowers. Perhaps we should all do that very thing.
It’s hard to know where to begin on this update. I’ve finished the 30 sessions of radiation and now entering the waiting period. That is good news. I’m very grateful to be here this morning to experience the dawn… to see the beautiful sky above me. This week, however, has been… well… terrible. Excuse me… but I felt like shit. My pain levels were soaring. I was close to heading for the E.R. several times but have talked myself out of it each time. The main reason is that I have so many things going on in this moment health wise… that the hospital would have to keep me there for an extended period of time just to check out all the variables. I have things that have to be taken care of. Things that must be done… animals that depend on me… and to answer your next question… No… there is no one that is able and/or willing to take care of them. So… I must endure. Now… thank you for allowing me to vent.
I am celebrating the completion of this round of radiation… at least in my mind. I just have to celebrate a bit reserved. Personally… I’d like to drink too much and raise a little hell… but it would probably kill me… so I’ll wait awhile before I do that… Okay… I haven’t done that in a hundred years… but I still think about it. How much hell can an old man raise any way? I’d probably just bore myself… or hurt myself.
Why do we fight what life throws in front of us anyway? Do you know? I’m sure that a number of you have had some very large boulders thrown right in front of you. I know I’ve tripped over a number of them myself. Sometimes it’s really hard to pick yourself up, dust off your intimates, climb over the rocks and face life head on… with an attitude… but if we don’t… what’s the alternative? Personally… I still have things to do here on earth… a purpose that perhaps I’m not sure I understand… but a purpose none the less. Maybe it is merely this journal to share with others… perhaps it is the poetry shared on my other site. Perhaps it is the love and light that we share with one another. Maybe it is the smile we share in the parking lot of the grocery store with one who has lingered in sadness… aloneness… far too long. Whatever that purpose may be… I am willing to face the suffering… the pain… the cancer… the heart disease… the radiation… the side effects… just to share with one who is searching… a smile… a hug… a simple expression of love. Is that not the truest meaning of being human?
Perhaps there is a lot for all of us to celebrate on this beautiful morning. Maybe we often fail to recognize all what is beautiful that surrounds us every single day. Just look into the mirror. Oh, I know…. you’re all frowning and hesitant to look into the mirror at your own reflection. Don’t look at yourself with critical eyes… look at yourself as a beautiful creation of our universe… placed upon this earth to share your love… your light… with those who are suffering… who feel pain, both physically and mentally… with those who have been abused… with those who do not know love. Every one of us is here to ‘know’ love… to share our love with another. That is all it takes to be a beautiful human being. I promise… you will feel the enlightenment.
I wish you all wellness… happiness… peace… and love… a beautiful day… and a beautiful reflection.